The Secret
by YayForIshida
Summary: Fail title but oh well. Ishida has a secret but he wants to tell someone. IchiIshi! ISHIDA'S BIRTHDAY FANFIC! YAAAY!


Hello Fanfic! Okay! Are you ready for a fangirl moment? Yes? Okay!

IT'S ISHIDA-SAMA'S BIRTHDAY!!!!! YAAAAY!!! So this fic is for him, 'cause he's THAT special...

(Ichigo gets one too on his Birthday, but he's not even my top three chars XD I just like the excuse to write IchiIshi :P).

Okay... While reading this... Listen to:

Between the Sheets – Morikawa Toshiyuki (Or Nakajima Hideaki for those who watch Gakuen Heaven XD). It goes PERFECTLY! I had it on replay XD

Michiyuki – Kaori Hikita (Or Loveless Ending for those who watch Loveless) It's pretty, but kinda depressing.

I DO NOT OWN BLEACH! But damn if I did... You'd all hate me for ruining it... xD

Enjoy! And Happeh Birthday Ishida-sama! We loves J00!!

Dedications: Ishida, obv, Quincy-gami, Anonymous Quincy and Zenaku – Yoi

--

Everyone around me knew I was not one for opening up. But when something had been living inside me for almost a quarter of my life, it wasn't likely that I was going to let it devour me for much longer. I had a secret; secret sounds very childish to me, but this 'secret' was far from childish. This 'secret' was unbelievably mature. But still, I remained to act like a childish person and keep that 'secret' to myself. But not for long, I didn't care if people did not like me for what I had become; it wasn't like anyone liked me before, anyway. I needed to get it off my chest, and Kurosaki's birthday was the day to do it.

Kurosaki always had this stare. It was almost like he could stare through you, but it's obvious he could not. If he could, he would see behind the cover of my façade, behind the deep darkness of my true self. He could find that there was some affection towards him. Affection that I had not known was around until my body was pushed up against his, his hands by the side of my head, gazing down at me with concern.

"Are you alright, Ishida?" He asked me in that soft voice he normally used on Inoue-san to calm her down. I stared at him, wondering why my heart was palpitating so rapidly. My cheeks began to burn and I looked away, feeling utterly stupid.

"I'm fine, Kurosaki, now get off of me." I replied, wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He stood and watched as I stood, brushing my clothes and going to walk away. He grabbed my wrist and I turned my head to look at him. He gazed back with that stare. I dropped my gaze and pulled myself from his grip, stepping away and heading down the stairs. I couldn't believe such a thing could happen, but it did. I found out then... that I was in love with Kurosaki Ichigo.

On the day of Kurosaki's birthday, July 10th, I stood at his door, my palms sweating, my heart thumping in my chest. It hurt. My nerves were uncontrollable. I hated that feeling. It always happened when I was around him. I softly tapped my knuckles against the wood of the door and gazed at my shoes, waiting for the door to open. Thoughts bombarded my mind, igniting my heart to pump faster in my chest. Just those thoughts of 'what if' were enough to make me shiver in fear. The click of the door broke the glass box of thoughts around my mind, burning away all composure that I had managed to freeze in my mind. I glanced up and my heart skipped a beat. That orange hair was enough to make me want to forget everything and run home.

Then appeared that small smile that almost made me melt.

"Ishida, what are you doing here?" He had some amusement in his voice. It was soothing.

"I... um," I cursed myself for stuttering and showing such weakness. I cleared my throat and gazed in to his eyes. I had not planned anything. I had just expected to know precisely what to say. It seemed that wasn't going to happen. So a back-up was needed. "I wanted to wish you a happy birthday." I saw something flicker in his eyes. Delight, perhaps? I could not tell.

"Thanks. I'm alone now anyway. Do y' wanna come in?" He opened his door a little and exposed the small front room -- dark -- the only illumination coming from the small screen of the television. I did not know what to do. I cleared my throat once again and stepped through, muttering a word of thanks.

He walked round me, as I slipped my shoes off, and settled upon the neat red couch in the middle of the room. I stood at the stairs, staring his way, unsure if I should sit next to him or remain standing. He turned his head and gazed at me oddly.

"Y' can sit down, y' know. I'm not gonna bite." He smirked a bit as I walked over and sat a seat away from him, lifting one leg to rest over the other. I leaned my chin on the back of my fingers, resting my elbow on the arm of the couch. I gazed at the moon, the thoughts of how to tell him running through my head. I thought about how he could feel the same, but it did not feel real; like a fantasy. I knew in the real world, people like me... did not always get what -- or who -- they wanted.

"Ishida?" I turned my head to see him using that look again. It made me want to lay my head in his lap and admit defeat, crying violently. But of course, I did not. "Are you alright?" I closed my eyes and stood up, clenching my fists. I took a deep breath.

"Kurosaki." I stopped. My mouth wouldn't let me talk anymore. I had opened my eyes and noticed him staring at me with the gentlest of expressions. I couldn't understand why until I saw dripping coming from my cheeks. No...I was crying, in front of Kurosaki. I had to leave. I turned and walked to the door.

"I have to go." It came out in less than a whisper. I slid on my shoes and put my hand on the door handle. A hand covered my own.

"Ishida..." That voice. It made me worse. I froze, more of those unwanted tears falling down my cheeks and dripping onto the hand above my own. He removed his hand and I opened the door. "Why are you leaving like this?" He asked in a stern voice. I turned, stepping out, staring into his eyes with a feeling I had never felt before.

"Kurosaki...I'm in love with you." Before I could get any sort of reply, I walked away, holding myself together with whatever control I had left over myself. I could hear him calling my name, but I did not stop. I had told him and that was all I cared about.

---

I had not spoken to Kurosaki during summer vacation, nor had I attempted to fight any sort of Hollow with him. I couldn't bear to see him, afraid he would bring up that day. When we went back to school, I tried to continue ignoring him, but it was extremely difficult. I resumed talking to him around October, noticing him looking over at me throughout every lesson. I thought that it was because he was still shocked over what I had confessed. I was still completely in love with him and it hurt. I couldn't bear to see him talking to Inoue-san with a smile on his face. It made my eyebrows furrow in jealousy. I hated what I had become.

In November, I had been surprised by an odd conversation with Kurosaki. I gazed out over Karakura Town, on the roof, when I heard footsteps approaching me. I turned round, my hair slapping me in the face as I took in my visitor. Kurosaki. He had his normal frown plastered on his face as he stood next to me with a sigh. I stared at him, wondering why he wasn't with his friends.

"It's a bit windy today..." Kurosaki mused, running a hand through his luscious vibrant orange mane. I marvelled at how soft it seemed.

"Indeed it is." I replied. Small talk was not my greatest skill. I gazed back out over the town, wondering if he ever thought about that confession. My mind throbbed at the memory; it was too embarrassing to want to remember.

"Um, it's y' birthday soon, right?" Kurosaki asked, forcing me out of my unwanted thought; I had to thank him mentally. I nodded slowly.

"The sixth, why?" I searched his face for any sort of expression that would give away his reason for asking such an odd question. I found nothing.

"Ah, no reason... I heard Inoue talking about it. I'd run before she asks you to try her new 'Birthday Bean Paste'." Kurosaki smirked at me, playfully. I smirked back. Yes, Inoue-san wasn't the greatest cook, but we couldn't be ungrateful.

"Well, the bell's ringin', and the sensei said if I'm not first back that she's gonna give me a detention... again." He sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder. I jumped slightly at the touch, and looked up at his face sporting an elegant smile. I looked away, my cheeks a gentle pink. I turned back to watch him walk away, my hand resting on the shoulder Kurosaki touched, longing to feel his hands on me again.

The day of my birthday, the 6th, was like any other normal day, although I had a card from Inoue-san. She had written it in her pretty, curled handwriting. The pink kanji sat perfectly on the white card. It was almost like a piece of art. I never received anything from Ryuuken, but I did not care. I preferred to live my life separate to him. Too many times had I longed for his approval and had that hope shattered by his cruel words. I did not want to see him again.

I had just come from a shower, stepping down the soft, blue carpet on the stairs and walked past the front door. There was a draught* coming in from underneath the door, making me shiver slightly. I sat upon my cream cushion couch, leaning into the soft blue pillows behind me. I glanced around my dark room, the only light coming from three purple candles placed around the room. They were emitting the most delicious aromas. I had never smelt such a thing, apart from when Kurosaki walked past me, his cologne radiating off of him like heat from the sun. The only sound that filled the silence was the pretty notes of Melody Gardot, her beautiful western voice slid through the thick atmosphere, making me feel less lonely. I could only understand a few words of English, but either way, her voice was beautiful.

A droplet of water dripped from my hair and landed softly on the towel over my lap, it soon melting into the warmth and disappearing. A knock on my door pulled me from figuring out what Melody was singing in her song 'Baby I'm A Fool'. I stood up and grasped my towel tight. I wondered who would come over at this time of night.

I pulled open the heavy blue door, only to see that poor orange haired boy standing outside, the rain falling on his already drenched hair. I restrained myself from reaching out and tousling the soft mane in my hand, instead I turned on my heels and stepped up the stairs. He walked through and stood at the bottom, dripping sounds softly pounded like my heart was.

"Please remove your shoes and jacket. Place them by the radiator and wait for them to dry. You can sit in the front room while I get changed." I muttered softly, making my way to my room and shutting the door with a soft thud.

I had returned with two towels, one on my head and the other in my hand. I walked through the door and handed Kurosaki the towel.

"T-Thanks." He murmured, placing the towel over his head and lathering his hair. I sat next to him in my light blue jogging pants and a white short-sleeved t-shirt, three grey crosses decorating the front. I pulled my knees to my chest and looked over at Kurosaki, who seemed to be avoiding my gaze. I opened my mouth to ask why he came over to mine.

"Ishida?" He murmured, turning his head and looking into my eyes. I pushed up my glasses and gazed back. "What are you listening to?" I ran a hand through my wet hair.

"A western singer called Merodi Garudou*." I explained, turning to look away from him.

"Ah. I see. You have odd tastes." He smirked. I snapped my head to look at him.

"What do you mean by that?" I sternly asked, frowning irritated. He smirked wider and reached out, taking my hand in his.

"You love me for a start..." He purred, bringing my hand to his lips and pressing them against it.

"K-Kurosaki..." I chastised, blushing deeply and looking away.

"No, Ishida... Look at me..." He cupped my chin between his thumb and finger and turned my head towards him. I gazed into his eyes, my heart beating faster than it ever had. "I-"

"You hate me, Kurosaki? It's obvious you do." I spat out, taking Kurosaki's hand away from my chin. He clutched that hand.

"No. I don't. Not one bit..." He had such a serious look in his eyes; it almost burnt holes into my unsure ones. "I don't know how you did it, but you managed to tame me and make me long for you." I did not believe that what I heard was real. "I-In simple terms..." He cleared his throat and ran a hand through my hair, stroking the back of my head as he rested his hand on it. "I-I'm in love with you as well." He leant forward and pressed his lips against mine softly. I could feel his lips trembling against mine. I smiled softly. So it was just as hard for him as it was for me. I wasn't sure what to do, so I closed my eyes and let him do whatever he wanted.

He pulled away and looked at me, cupping my cheek and stroking his thumb across it. "But why are you telling me now?" I asked, shifting closer to Kurosaki, a blush on my cheeks. He wrapped an arm around my neck and leaned his head on mine, as I laid mine on his chest.

"You didn't really give me a chance before, did y'?" He smirked and held me closer. "Plus, I thought it was sweet how you came to tell me on my birthday. So I thought I'd do the same."

"So that's what the strange query was about." I mused aloud. He nodded and tilted my head up again. I gazed into his eyes before he connected our lips again, this time I gained courage and slid a hand around his neck. He lowered my back against the couch and leaned over me, slipping his tongue past my lips and into my mouth. I snaked an arm around his waist and allowed our tongues to meet. It was like a dream. I couldn't believe it was happening. As he busied his mouth with mine, his hand found a way up my shirt and lightly raked over my torso, eliciting small gasps and jerks from me. He broke the kiss and traced small pecks down the side of my jaw and onto my neck. I tilted my head up as he sucked on the skin, nibbling on it every few seconds. My heart was like a timer for a bomb, it pounded rapidly against my ribcage, waiting until the time got to zero before I could explode.

"Ishida..." Ichigo whispered against my neck, his hands travelling down my sides. I whimpered softly, feeling my jogging pants get a little tighter. I blushed; feeling extremely embarrassed about what Kurosaki had done to me. I felt a hand ghost over that area, making me gasp loudly and bite my bottom lip. "Happy birthday...this is your present from me." He pressed his lips against mine again and we continued, moans sounding the quiet house. The CD had stopped, so there was nothing hiding our passion. We gave ourselves to each other and promised to keep them.

I no longer had that secret. Kurosaki and I had one together, the secret of our love. But that secret wouldn't last for long.

--

A/N: Woot! I wrote this in two days! 3 xD

I love IchiIshi... Fave pairing EVER! 3

So, I hope you enjoyed it! Leave a comment! Fave it! Do whatever you like, just don't hurt it. T.T... It's sensitive. Happy birthday, Ishida-sama! May you be Quincy-licious forever! 333

* 1 - UK spelling for draft.

* 2 - Apparently, it's the way Japanese people pronounce Melody Gardot.

-- Beta'd by Quincy-gami.


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